Why Nothing Ever Goes Right

Because it is bad form to criticize any other religion in the world, I must assume that all religions are real and, therefore, all their deities are operative in my universe. And yours… That clearly explains something that has bothered me all the days of my life… We are dwelling in the house divided by numerous superpowers in the sky or beneath the earth or in the fiords and none of them much care for each other’s take on life, death and what happens afterwards. 

So, let’s say you pray to The Episcopal God (who smokes a pipe in the shape of a bulldog and wears tweeds with elbow patches) to help you pass a geometry final (as I did) and the Muslim deity happens to hear you while helping one of his flock? No way is He going to let Episcopal God walk away with a geometry victory, so he makes you nauseous during the exam and you blow it and chunks. Now, multiply this and don’t forget to add in Joseph Smith and a golden tablet, a tower of Babel, Saul, Paul, Thor and a Dervish in motion and we are so screwed. So, with gratitude to H.L. Mencken, I rest my case and abandon hope. It is safer to have Them all competing for my belief than having all but One mad at me for making the wrong choice in the popularity contest.

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